


I Can Only Burn You

by FoxMaiden



Category: Star Trek
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 10:41:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3607149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxMaiden/pseuds/FoxMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iridessa a Commander aboard the Enterprise learns the distinction between love and hate, all the while being forced to deal with the inner turmoil of her mind</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Only Burn You

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to get all the lore right, but I might not have so if you see a mistake feel free to leave a comment tell me what I did wrong.

She woke up in an unfamiliar room with two men groping her in various places. It took her a few minutes to come around, but when she did she saw that it was none other than Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock shirtless groping her chest.  
“Look Spock she’s awoken.” Kirk murmurs playfully into her ear.  
“Seems you’re correct Captain… Tell me Commander Fox do you know why you’re here?” Spock asks as he flicks one of her nipples. The woman shakes her head in a solemn no while trying to worm out of their tight grasp.  
“Well to put it plainly you’re here because we need to release some tension and in that Starfleet uniform you are simply begging to be ravished.” Kirk says as he stops groping the woman and starts undoing his pants.  
“Please no…. Captain don’t.” She pleads and the two men just chuckle darkly.  
“Hush Commander you know you want this just as bad as we do.” Spock commands and she begins to kick out at the men hoping to loosen their suffocating grip on her, but this only serves to enrage the men more.  
“Be still or we will be forced to drug you.” Kirk orders and the woman falls silent beneath him. With a wolfish grin Kirk spreads her legs wide and plunges two of his fingers in roughly, causing the woman to moan at the sudden intrusion. “Mr. Spock would you be so kind as to turn her over?”  
“Of course Captain.” Spock replies as he shifts the woman from off her back and she can now see that Spock to is naked; his erection standing tall. “Commander open up.”  
“Come now Commander Fox don’t be like that, open up for Mr. Spock.” Kirk prods as he lines up with her entrance. It takes a minute for it to register in her mind that she was about to be raped, but when Kirk plunges in deeply the force of the thrust causes her to yell in pain. Spock takes this opportunity to shove his member into her mouth. She tries to pull back but he holds her head tightly against the base of his dick.  
“mmm!” She screams against his tight grip as Kirk begins pounding into her mercilessly. Right as she is about to pass out Spock releases her and she pulls back gasping for air. Knowing she has little time she punches Spock right in the crotch causing his knees to buckle and he drops in pain. Kirk notices this and right as he is about to push back in she rolls to the side and kicks him in the throat sending him reeling back. Taking this as her time to escape she darts from the room and towards the nearest turbolift. She didn’t even care that she was naked the only thought that registered in her mind was to run. Right as she is about to make it to the turbolift she smacks hard into something, it knocks her onto her back.  
“Commander Fox what is… where are your clothes?” Chekov asks as he watches his distraught Commander back away from him slowly.  
“Leave me alone… just back off!” Iridesscent Fox shouts at him her full name was Iridesscent Night Fox rather Iridessa to many and for her close friends simply Iri. Her mother was human while her father was Betazoid she knew her parents for eighteen years till a group of Alien hating Earthlings burned down her childhood home. Her Father had heard a string of angry thoughts projecting themselves and he immediately told his wife. They hid as the Earthlings broke into their house and began searching for them destroying anything in their path. Eventually her father came out of hiding only to be beaten to death and when her mother tried to stop them they beat her as well. Her mother might have survived if the group hadn’t poured gasoline on her then set her ablaze. Iridesscent could still heard the pained cries of her father as he used his telepathetic control to keep her from entering the house, and then she watched in horror as the people set her mother on fire. The people soon left and she bolted into the house trying to find her mother however all she found was the smoldering piles of ash amongst the burning embers of the house. It was then that she discovered her pyrokinetic powers however no matter how much training or meditation she did she could only use them in times of great sorrow or anger but that was unintentionally which made her a hazard sometimes. After that horrendous night Iridessa went to a bar using her powers to trick the bartender into giving her alcohol. There she met Captain James Tiberius Kirk along with his friend Dr. McCoy or as he referred to him as Bones.  
Flash Back  
The bar was a small one it was quiet on this tuesday evening allowing Iridessa easy access into the bar seeing as she only had to convince one man that she was 21. At first the man had been hesitant, but her powers had easily overridden his tiny mind. And so with a flirty smile and a giggle she found herself in the bar. Once inside she dropped the act and settled up at the bar where she ordered two scotches and a whisky. She smiled as the alcohol left a pleasant burning down her smoke scorched throat.  
“Aren’t you a little young to be in a bar?” A man wearing a Captain’s uniform asks as he sits down beside her.  
“No.” Was all Iridesscent said to him.  
“Really because if I had to guess I would say you’re only about eighteen, Bones what would you say?” The Captain asks a man dressed in a similar shirt only it was blue designating him as medical personnel.  
“Jim leave her alone, she looks like she’s been through enough.” The man called Bones says as he tugs at his friend’s arm. However before they can talk anymore a large group of men shuffle into the bar.  
“Iridesscent Night Fox we know you’re here now come out so we can finish what we started!” The ring leader calls out and Iridessa stiffens causing Jim to look over the large group of men. He noticed that they were rather white trashish if Jim had ever seen white trash.  
“Good evening gentleman may I ask what you want with her.”  
“Get out of the way this is none of your business.”  
“Oh but it is now that you’ve involved my friend. So tell me what’s your quarrel?”  
“My quarrel is that she’s a filthy Betazoid who doesn’t belong on this planet.” The man spits at Jim and Jim wipes his hand over his face.  
“You know I’m pretty sure Earth is home to any peaceful species and besides unless she’s done something to you I would suggest you leave her alone.”  
“Why what are you going to do Pretty Boy?”  
“This.” Kirk says as he wheels on the man punching him squarely in the jaw. The man staggers back holding his jaw.  
“Oh so its a fights you want Pretty Boy well a fight you’ll get…”  
“Leave us.” Iridesscent commands using a little of her powers to persuade the man.  
“So you’re the little alien bitch.”  
“I said leave!” Iridesscent yells as she takes complete control over the groups minds. Kirk and Bones watch as the group very quickly turns around and leaves.  
“Iridesscent?” Jim questions, but when he turns to face the woman all he finds is an empty chair with money on the counter. “Bones?” He says as he notices his best friend gone as well.

Outside

“Why are you following me?” Iridesscent asks as she notices the sound of footsteps behind her.  
“Your a very strong Betazoid.”  
“Yes…. Leonard I am.” Iridesscent says after a minute or two.  
“I didn’t even feel that… that is nothing like Spock’s mind meld.”  
‘Unlike Vulcans, Leonard, Betazoids aren’t as invasive.’ Iridesscent says in his mind and she watches as the doctor’s eyes light up in amazement.  
“Iridesscent how would you like to join StarFleet.” Leonard asks her and the red headed woman just nods in yes knowing that there was nothing left to tether her here. It was at this moment she feels an inkling of hate for herself, knowing that she couldn’t save her parents from their terrible fate. End Flashback 

After several years in Starfleet academy she was a promoted to Commander. She was then assigned to the Enterprise for several years, so she had become well known amongst the crew. Kirk and her had even dated for a year, but had decided it wouldn’t work out. Iridesscent’s job on the Enterprise was to assist Dr. McCoy in any of his medical endeavors as well as be the Counselor, and she was also assistant to Commander Spock at the science station. Needless to say she was a jack of all trades able to do many things and do those many things well. Iridessa hoped to one day become captain of her own ship.  
“Commander Fox here take this and cover yourself before someone sees.” Chekov suggests as he sheds his top shirt revealing his black t-shirt underneath. “Come on let’s get you to your quarters.”  
“No! They’ll be there, I can’t go there Chekov… I just can’t!” Iridessa tells the Weapons Expert in panic.  
“I see well then, I will take you to Dr. McCoy he will know what to do Commander.” Chekov says as he helps his Commander up and off of the floor. As she stands up she can hear footsteps approaching them.  
“Iridesscent... Come out, come out wherever you are we just want to play.” Kirk’s voice rings out playfully as the footsteps grew louder and louder. Chekov watches as Commander Fox becomes rigid and a frantic look graces itself on her usually calm, controlled one.  
“Chekov please.” Iridessa begs as she clings to his arm desperately.  
“Quickly into the lift Commander, I will stall them as long as I can. Go to the med bay and wait for me there.” Chekov says and pushes Iridessa into the lift and presses the button for the med bay. After the doors shut he gets on his communicator, “McCoy, Commander Fox needs your assistance.”  
“Oh Iri where are you? Chekov have you seen Commander Fox, why aren’t you in uniform?” Kirk inquires as he watches the weapons officer look at him in disgust as if he knew what they had just been up to.  
“No I haven’t, and it’s my day off so I don’t need to be in uniform.” Chekov lies to him and he watches as Spock stares at him intensely.  
“Where is she Chekov?” The Vulcan asks in a deadpan tone, but his eyes shown in anger.  
“As I said before Spock I have not seen her, good day gentlemen.” Chekov states briefly then turns his back and enters the turbolift, upon entering he finds Iridessa huddled in the corner with her knees pulled up tightly. “Iri?”  
“Please don’t hurt me…. please don’t.”  
“Iri did you go to the med bay?” Chekov asks quietly and she shakes her head in no.  
“Come on let’s get you to Dr. McCoy he’ll know what to do.”  
“No he’ll tell the Captain!” Iridessa says as she looks up from her knees to face the Communications Expert. “And the Captain will… He and Spock will…. Chekov please no.”  
“No McCoy wouldn’t do that, now come on let’s get you checked out… At least medically.” Chekov persuades and hesitantly Iridessa nods in agreement. He pushes the button for med bay again and then sits down next to his still shaking Commander. Iridessa leans against him and Chekov puts an arm around her. “Commander Fox what did they do?”  
“I… I can’t tell you.”  
“Why not, I only want to help you?”  
“Chekov just leave it.” Iridessa barks and Chekov sighs. He had known his Commander for several years right now and if Iri didn’t what to talk about it then she wasn’t going to.  
“Yes Commander, now come on we’re at med bay and McCoy is expecting us.”  
“Is it just him?” Iridessa asks as she pokes her head out and around the corner she didn’t need the rest of the crew to see her like this.  
“Yes he is the only personnel working today unless we have an emergency.”  
“Okay…. Thank you Chekov.” Iridessa says as she hugs him.  
“Of course Commander, would you like me to wait here till it’s over?” Chekov asks and the question takes Iridessa by surprise.  
“It is up to you.”  
“Very well… I shall be here when you get done.” Chekov tells her and watches with a smile as a small smile graces her lips.  
“Ok…”  
“Iri what happened to you and where are your clothes?” McCoy interrupts as he ushers the nearly naked woman into med bay.  
“Chekov?”  
“Yes Commander.”  
“Why don’t you go up to your quarters I’m giving you the day off.”  
“Yes Commander.” Chekov answers however he does not budge from the spot he was standing in and Iridessa’s foul mood brightens a little knowing that some men had a sense of honor. She follows McCoy into the back of the bay, much to her horror there stands Spock with his arms crossed and wearing a smirk.  
“Spock what are you doing here?” Iridessa manages to stutter out and McCoy notices her strange demeanor toward their friend.  
“Commander Fox are you all right?”  
“Of course Spock.”  
“Then why are you in the med bay and where are your clothes?” Spock asks with a knowing smile and McCoy watches his colleague shudder while shrinking back into the wall. He leaves quickly looking for gown and Kirk to inform him of a possible rape. The First Officer says nothing else after watching the doctor leave he then he corners the Commander against the wall. “Tell me Commander, tell me how much you loved it.”  
“No I didn’t like it… Please get off of me.” Iridessa asks and Spock licks the outside of her ear.  
“Mr. Spock I must ask that you get off of the Commander.” Chekov says authoritatively and Spock sighs then pulls back.  
“Chekov I must implore you to leave this doesn’t concern you.” Spock states and then strokes the side of Iridessa’s face. Chekov watches as a single tear slides down his Commander’s face as she looks at him in terror.  
“Spock what are you doing to her!” Barks McCoy’s loud voice, as he and Kirk briskly walk into the med bay. “Iri are you all right? Spock get the fuck away from her!”  
“Chekov I want to leave.” Iridessa mutters and Chekov nods quickly as he pulls Spock back.  
“Iri you have to stay, Chekov why don’t you take her and go wait in there.” McCoy says and Chekov leads her into a nearby office. Once they were gone McCoy stares at his two friends with a glare. “Did you touch her?”  
“Bones of course we didn’t…”  
“Then what the hell happened to her and what’s with Chekov?”  
“Dr. McCoy how are we to know what kind of relationship she holds with Chekov her love life is none of our business.”  
“Shut up Hobgoblin, I just saw you sexually assault an officer of Starfleet. It would be a good idea for you to shut up.” McCoy states and that shuts Spock up effectively.  
“Spock you sexually assaulted Commander Fox!”  
“No she wanted it.”  
“I highly doubt that Spock, and Kirk if you had anything to do with this at least be man enough to admit it….. For god’s sake Kirk you two raped her didn’t you!”  
“Bones we were all out drinking and so what if we slipped something into her drink… she should have just let us do it.” Kirk mutters bitterly and McCoy doesn’t even hesitate when he punches him right in the jaw.  
“Get the fuck out of here Jim, and I don’t even want to know what part of you thought that this was okay.” McCoy shouts and watches as Kirk holds his jaw as he and Spock leave the med bay. “Wait before you go did you even think of what would happen to her? Did you even think about the mental scarring you probably just gave her?”  
“Bones we…”  
“Get out before I call Security and have you removed… You had better hope she doesn’t press charges because god dammit Jim I’ll take her side.” McCoy says his eyes blazing in fury and he watches as Spock and Kirk walk into the turbolift. He picks up the fallen gown and goes into the office where he finds Iridessa curled into Chekov’s side wearing one of his shirts; it was large enough for her to wear like a nightgown. “Iri… Iridesscent?”  
“Dr. McCoy I’m not sure she’s coherent right now.” Chekov whispers and McCoy nods in understanding.  
“Chekov I didn’t want to believe it… but Iridessa is the most level headed woman I have ever met and to see her so disheveled it was… terrifying.”  
“I know, tell me Dr. McCoy should I leave or stay with her?” Chekov asks as he yawns.  
“I would stay with her, let me perform a quick exam and then you could take her up to her quarters.” McCoy says as he very gingerly picks up a low dose of anesthetic just enough so he could do the examination. He opens her legs and notices the dried semen on her genitals, he also notices how abused her ass hole looked. McCoy swabs the areas then puts the swab into a machine used for identifying DNA. Much to his dismay it reads out James Tiberius Kirk.  
“That bastard…. I wished it wasn’t true…”  
“McCoy are you done?” Chekov asks as he watches the doctor hang his head in shame.  
“Yes I am…”  
“She’ll be in her quarters. Can you put her on medical leave?” Chekov inquires and McCoy nods his head in yes. After the doctors approval Chekov wastes no time in picking up his sleeping Commander as he settles her into his arms. Chekov can feel her leaning into his body and she snuggles her head into his chest. Once on the turbolift he presses the button for her quarters and arrives there within minutes. She was still sleeping peacefully in Chekov’s grasp as he entered the room, he lays her down on her pristinely made bed. However as he goes to leave he feels something grab his shirt hem.  
“Don’t…. go…. stay…. please…” Iridessa mumbles and Chekov nods hesitantly as he kicks off his shoes then settles next to her. Instantly he finds her cuddled into his side snoring softly, and with a smile he finds himself drifting into a deep sleep.

The Next Morning

Iridessa awakes to hear the sound of her door opening and closing, hesitantly she looks around to find her bed empty. She looks around in fear thinking something may have happened to Chekov, so quickly she dresses in her normal blue Starfleet dress as well as her black boots that came up to her knees. Brushing her long straight red hair, she takes a minute to look at herself in the mirror. She saw her reflection, she saw a strong woman with fierce dark blue eyes, however she notices something lurking beneath her stare. Iridessa could see her eyes also portray a sense of betrayal as well as the fierce blue began to crack to reveal a lighter more vulnerable blue.  
“No!” Iridessa screams as she punches the glass with her fist causing shards of it to go into her fist. She watched as blood seeped out of her wounds and with much more curiosity than anger she picks up one of the shards grasping it tightly in her hand. Iridessa can feel the glass cutting into her hand causing more blood to flow, but it does nothing to deter her as she pushes it into her wrist angrily. With a faint groan of pain she does the same thing with her other wrist and for some reason this makes her smile…. It was though the fear and vulnerableness was seeping out of her body as the blood flowed out of her body… almost like a purging.  
“Commander.” She hears a voice call out faintly and she turns around to see the door open to find Captain Kirk and Commander Spock standing in the doorway. “Iri what are you doing?”  
“Leave me alone!” Iridessa shouts brokenly at the men as she sinks to the floor.  
“NO! Iri no just no!” Kirk shouts as he watches his faithful Commander fall to the floor in a puddle of her own blood. “Spock get Bones now!” Kirk orders and Spock immediately gets on his comlink radioing the med bay. It takes a matter of seconds before Dr. McCoy rushes into the room with a small medical bag.  
“Jim what did you do?” McCoy says in an accusatory tone and Kirk looks at him in sorrow.  
“We were coming to apologize… I never thought… I didn’t.” Kirk stutters out as he holds Iridessa in his grip tightly. This was the woman he loved… and he had hurt her so much. McCoy watches as his best friend stutters as he holds Iridesscent close in his grip. He says nothing as he begins using his equipment to sew the wounds shut leaving nothing, but a thin pink scar on both of her wrists.  
“Your lucky she wasn’t farther away otherwise she’d be dead. I want you to take her to the med bay where we can watch her, have someone clean up this mess.” McCoy orders and Kirk nods respectively as he stands up with her in his arms.  
“Bones you know I never intended for this to happen, when we were dating she used to love to roleplay like this with Spock and I…. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew this would happen.” Kirk assures his friend who only continues to glare at him.  
“Jim that is the stupidest idea I have ever heard come out of your mouth. What part of you thought that you should drug her, and then force to have sex with both you and Spock. Seriously Jim what part thought that was okay?” McCoy growls at him as they enter the turbolift.  
“Dr. McCoy now when you say it like that it is highly illogical.” Spock mutters as he looks at her in shame.  
“Damn right it’s illogical! The idiocy of you two never cease to amaze me.” McCoy says as the lift stops at med bay and Kirk follows McCoy into the office from the night before.  
“Dr. McCoy there you are… Commander, what have you done Captain?” Chekov asks in horror as notices the blood on his Commander. “My Commander what have you done!”  
“Your Commander? Chekov if she’s anyone’s she’s mine.” Kirk says defensively and this seems to snap Chekov out of his anger.  
“McCoy what happened to her?”  
“She attempted to end her life, but I managed to get there in time to save her.”  
“End her life… She can’t end her life I...:”  
“You what?” Kirk prods as he lies her down on the bed gently.  
“Nothing… I’ll be at my station.” Chekov says briefly as he disappears from the room and into the turbolift.  
“Captain?”  
“Yes Spock.”  
“I believe Chekov may be in love with our Commander.”  
“Yes Mr. Spock I believe he may.”  
“After last night I’m quite positive Commander Fox wants nothing to do with you two.” Bones chimes in and he can see his best friend physically deflate.  
“But once she hears that it was all a misunderstanding then she’ll understand why we did… Bones don’t worry she’ll love us again.” Kirk rambles as he watches the one woman he loved more than himself laid on a bed covered in her own blood.  
“Jim…”  
“No Bones I should have never ended it with her… I lover her.”  
“Captain?”  
“Yes Spock.”  
“I… Nevermind it was an illogical thought.”  
“Spock would you care to take command of the ship for a while I want to be here when she awakes.”  
“It would be my pleasure Captain… Will you convey my apologies as well?”  
“I think it would be best if you showed her Spock.”  
“Yes, perhaps you are right.”  
“I usually am.” Kirk says with a cocky smile and Bones can swear he sees the First Officer’s cheeks tint green. Bones watches as Spock leaves the med bay with his normal expressionless expression… that was a mental conundrum McCoy didn’t even want to consider.  
“Jim are you and him… Like are you two together?” Bones asks curiously as he stares at his best friend who doesn’t even flinch at the question.  
“Yeah, why does it matter?” Kirk answers and Bones shakes his head in a quick no.  
“Well I have things I need to do can I trust you with her or are you going to do something stupid? Scratch that you always do something stupid.”  
“Bones that is very hurtful, but no I won’t hurt her again… I won’t.” Kirk says very seriously and Bones nods his head but gives him a wary look. “Bones?”  
“Yes Jim?”  
“I’m going to take her up to my quarters.”  
“Jim I don’t really condone that.”  
“Bones stand down I am ordering you to let me take her up to my quarters.” Kirk counters and he watches as reluctantly Bones opens the door for him. “Thank you Bonesy.”  
“Get out of my med bay before I change my mind, and Jim.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Tread lightly… very lightly.” Bones warns as he watches Jim pick her up gently and much to his surprise she whimpers a quiet, “Jim.”  
“Iri can you hear me?” Kirk asks her as he walks into the turbolift with her in his arms and he begins to feel her shift inwardly towards his chest. All the while Kirk was projecting his apologies and trying to explain the situation in his mind. He was saying how much he loved her and how much he needed her to be alive and love him. Iridessa can feel Jim’s incessant thinking burrowing into his mind and she smiles slowly.  
“Jim shut up I…. Jim… Jim what are you doing let go of me!” Iridessa shouts as she struggles out of his grasp as she remembers the night before. “I should be dead… Oh no this is Hell isn’t it…. I only burned that man alive because he deserved it!” Iridessa shouts to the sky hoping that it might save her from eternal damnation.  
“Iri please let me explain… let me show you that I didn’t mean it, it was a simple misunderstanding please just look… look.” Kirk insists and hesitantly Iridessa closes her eyes searching Jim’s mind for the truth. She saw his misguided attempts at wooing her and she saw him and Spock engaging in well.. lets just say Spocks a very dominate bed mate. Iridessa also saw Spock holding Kirk as he cried because of how bad he had hurt her, she saw him making plans with Spock to get her back none of them actually working. Though what really struck her was the feeling of utter sadness that plagued her Captain, behind every smile or laugh it was always a hint of depression. In his mind she also saw a line of deep cuts marking his side. Hesitantly she lifts up his shirt and it reveals about seven deep marks on his hip, Iridessa also saw a fresh mark above his pelvis.  
“Jim what have you done?”  
“Nothing Iri nothing in comparison to what I just did to you… I never meant for it to turn into that, you remember when you would talk about roleplaying with Spock and I.”  
“Yes I do but Jim a little forewarning would have been nice.”  
“I am so sorry I.”  
“Shut up and kiss me Jim.” Iridessa orders and in a split second Jim’s lips are on hers and it feels like a long awaited homecoming. They had been broken up for about two months now, not only had Iridessa been both saddened by the loss of her partner she was also very frustrated, sexually. So as Jim’s tongue licked the bottom of hers, she opened up eagerly and as he invaded her mouth she could taste something that wasn’t completely Jim… It dawns on her that she was probably tasting Spock and for some reason that makes her whimper into his mouth.  
“What is it Baby?”  
“Spock… I can taste him…” Iridessa mumbles breathlessly causing Jim to chuckle slightly.  
“Do you like the taste? Because I love him as well and I couldn’t give him up for anything.”  
“I love it Jim.” She moans as she pulls Jim into another heated kiss. Jim goes back to kissing her, and he picks her up when the lift stops at his quarters.  
“Door open, and lights at 15%.” Jim orders and the door slides open to reveal a king-sized bed covers made pristinely making her wonder if that was the made or Spock’s doing. However before she can focus on the bed sheets Jim’s lips are on hers and he’s doing his best to commit her mouth to memory using only his tongue. After a few minutes of intense kissing he pulls back leaving Iridessa breathless with her eye blown wide in pleasure.  
“Jim… Jim… I have missed that so much.” Iridessa pants heavily as Jim straddles her with a cocky smile.  
“And I have missed you, but I think we should leave it at this for now. You lost several pints of blood today technically you should be in the med bay with Bones, but he made me promise not to do anything stupid with you and sex right now qualifies as stupid.” Jim tells her as she bares her neck to the side and Jim kisses her neck leaving little marks in his wake. “But damn you’re just so irresistable Iri.”  
“Jim… I think you should stop before this gets out of hand.”  
“You’re right we can continue this another time, now Commander would you like to snuggle while watching a movie?” Jim asks and he watches Iridessa’s eyes flick down to her blood crusted clothing and body. “Or perhaps a shower?”  
“Shower, Jim would you mind going down to my room and grabbing me a pair of underwear?”  
“No not at all but why only underwear?” Jim asks as he watches his Commander take off her boots and begin stripping out of her clothes. He watches as she pulls off her blue dress leaving her in a frilly black bra with matching black tanga underwear.  
“Jim… Jim!” Iridessa shouts snapping the man out of his trance.  
“Yes Darling.”  
“I only need underwear because I can wear this bra again, but when I fell the blood on the ground soaked into my underwear and it feels really gross… So I could either go commando or maybe wear some of your clothes or you could go get my some of my stuff.” Iridessa explains and watches as Jim walks over to his dresser pulling out a black sports bra, an old rock band t-shirt, and a pair of his blue boxers.  
“If my memory serves me correctly this was your preferred choice of my clothing.”  
“You kept my bra?”  
“It was in the laundry when you left and by the time they returned it you were ignoring me completely.” Jim tells her and he watches as she turns around quickly as if to hide something from him. “Iri what is it?”  
“Nothing Jim. Commanders don’t cry, Commanders are strong, Commanders are the epitome of leadership others look to Commanders for support.” Iridessa mumbles to herself it was a mantra she had made up when she first entered the Starfleet and memories of the fire would haunt her dreams. She is so lost in her chanting that she doesn’t notice Jim come up to her and wrap his arms around her waist.  
“Commander Fox it’s okay to cry, I’m a Captain and it is the Captain’s duty to pick his crew up when they fall.”  
“I am a Commander. Commanders don’t cry, Commanders are strong….” Iridessa trails off unable to continue on as the tears force her to stop chanting. Jim turns her around so her face is buried into his strong chest as she cries soaking his shirt completely.  
“You may be a Commander, but I am a Captain and I order you to cry.” Jim says gently causing Iridessa to hiccup a small chuckle as she wipes her eyes on the back of her hands.  
“I’m okay now… thanks Jim.”  
“My pleasure now you go get in the shower while I change my shirt and run down to the mess hall to get food. Anything you want in particular?” Jim asks as he sheds his shirt and donning a new one. However he hears no response and it causes him to become suspicious. “Iri?” Jim asks as he walks into the bathroom to find her staring at herself intensely.  
“Jim… Jim…”  
“Iri what is it? Iri you need to explain this to me what’s wrong?”  
“That woman… is that what I really look like?” Iridessa asks as she stares into the mirror noticing the blood crusted onto her body in various places. Her hands were covered in dried blood as well as her arms where she had made less impressive cuts. Iridessa looked to Jim who looked very confused.  
“Yes Iri that is you, I don’t understand what’s wrong.”  
“No I don’t suppose you would... “  
“Iri why don’t I stay and help you wash that off?” Jim suggests as he guides the confused woman into the large bathtub/shower. “Can you stand or would you rather sit?”  
“I’ll stand.” Iridessa replies brokenly as she stares at Jim with a cold lifeless stare however much to his confusion he can feel the heat radiating off of her. This causes Jim mild panic because her eyes had been so full of life just minutes ago; he couldn’t understand how looking in a mirror had caused so much trauma. None the less he pulled the rest of her clothing off of her as she stood there motionless, watching as he stripped his clothes away as well. He gently guides her to the hot spray causing Iridessa to sizzle slightly and that is when he realizes that her pyrokinetic powers must be working. It also dawns on him that she could only use those powers in times of great sadness or anger.  
“Iri talk to me.”  
“....”  
“Iridessa please talk to me, tell me about planet C4 in quadrant delta.”  
“It’s a planet inhabited by nothing as desolate as my heart. It is where nothing grows and only the tears of broken hearts lie on the surface in abundance. Amongst the tears there is the shadow of a once great society torn about by the mistakes of another and left to wither in the oppressive heat of the planets six suns.” Iridessa replies to him and he can feel her temperature slowly reduce back down to normal. He also notices how her eyes become full of life again and while she is not inherently happy but he can tell that she is no longer depressed. “Jim… Jim where are we?”  
“You don’t remember do you, you never remember when you become like that.”  
“Did I use them again?”  
“Yes very briefly, I am glad that we were in the shower this time.”  
“Was anyone hurt, did I hurt you?” Iridessa asks in fear as she searches him from any sort of burns.  
“No it was just me in here with you and no you didn’t hurt me. Can you tell me what happened when you looked into the mirror?” Jim asks gently knowing that more often than not Iridessa would refuse to talk about it, but she talked in her sleep so more often than not Jim could figure out what happened by just listening to her at night.  
“I… It was nothing Jim. Can you pass me the soap?”  
“Of course.” Jim replies as he helps her wash the grime from her body once finished he jump out of the shower then helping her out. “Here’s a towel… what would you like from the mess hall?”  
“Nothing I’m not hungry.” Iridessa answers as she hesitantly turns to the mirror, but before she can look Jim pulls her into him.  
“Iri you need to eat otherwise Bones will come up here and yell at me.”  
“Jim I’m not hungry.”  
“Please just get something, just something little… like a cookie, do you want a chocolate chip cookie with juice? Jim pleads and Iridessa wants to refuse him but upon looking into his soft blue eyes.  
“Sure Jim, if I take the juice and a cookie will you leave me alone for now?”  
“Yes but you have to eat and drink it all.”  
“Fine.” Iridessa concedes as she puts on her sports bra, Jim’s boxers, and Jim’s t-shirt. She then braids her hair into a long braid that stops just above her butt. Once her hair was fixed she goes and settles down on Jim’s bed and by the time she lies her head back on the pillows the door opens… She had been expecting Jim, but rather Chekov was standing in the doorway a look of worry on his face.  
“Commander what are you doing here?” Chekov asks as he hurries over to her side afraid that their captain may have forced her to stay there.  
“Pavel it’s fine, Jim and I have worked out our differences.. it turns out that it was just a simple misunderstanding.” Iridessa tells the man who nods in understanding however she could see the look of hurt in his eyes.  
“I see... “  
“Pavel you must know that I am eternally grateful for what you did and if I can ever repay you just let me know.”  
“No it was my pleasure… It reminded me of when we were in the academy together because you would always get your heart stomped on then come running to me where we… well it doesn’t matter now.” Chekov says as he watches his Commander shift her eyes down towards the sheets unwilling to even meet his gaze. “Tell me Commander Fox how long before you shatter completely?”  
“Pavel that’s not fair.”  
“I know it isn’t but I just want to know how many more times I will have to pick up the pieces.” Chekov says heartbrokenly and before she can respond the door slides open to reveal Jim holding a bottle of grape juice and a bag of cookies.  
“Chekov what are you doing here?”  
“Nothing Captain I was just checking on the Commander Fox… when it shatters again find your own damn adhesive.” Chekov mutters bitterly as he turns away from them and storms out of the room.  
“Pavel wait!” Iridessa shouts but the communications officer was long gone.  
“What was that about?”  
“Nothing… I’m going to sleep Jim.” Iridessa says as she turns over facing away from Jim.  
“Hey you have to eat first!”  
“Jim, leave me alone.”  
“Commander please.”  
“I said no!” Iridessa growls at him as he sits down on the bed.  
“Iri don’t make me take you done to Bones.”  
“I don’t care Jim do what you have to do.”  
“Fine, Dr. McCoy to Captain’s quarters at your earliest convenience.” Kirk says over his com link as he sets the food down on his nightstand. They sit there in silence till Bones shows up with a med kit in hand prepared for the worse.  
“Jim what did you need?”  
“She won’t eat and earlier her…”  
“Shut up Jim!”  
“He’s a doctor Iridessa he needs to know about them.”  
“I need to know about what?” Bones asks as he eyes Iridessa warily knowing that at any moment she could possibly lash out like a wounded animal.  
“My pyrokinetic powers fluctuated and I seemed to have frightened our fearless Captain.” Iridessa tells him while still facing away the wall.  
“So it’s not very uncommon for a Betazoid’s powers to fluctuate with their moods.”  
“Tell him what happened before that Commander Fox.”  
“Frankly it’s neither of your businesses.”  
“Iri I would beg to differ, I am the ships chief medical officer so technically it is my business.”  
“And I’m a medical officer myself so the only person who needs to be concerned about it is me and if I say it’s none of your business then it isn’t.” Iridessa states very matter of factly as she sits up. “I’m going for a walk.”  
“Here let me escort you.” Jim offers, but she shakes her head in no.  
“Jim you must stay here, Leonard I will escort you to the turbolift.” Iridessa says while putting on a very professional face, the one that said I am a Commander and I don’t need your help.  
“Sure Commander.” Bones responds as he follows her towards the lift leaving Jim staring after them like a lost puppy. As they enter the lift they see Spock getting out.  
“Commander Fox and Dr. McCoy how are you?” Spock asks as he watches his Commander stare blankly into his eyes and even without touching her; Spock could feel the waves of distrust and depression radiate from her otherwise very professional look.  
“Fine and you Commander Spock?”  
“I am well, Iridessa do you have a minute?”  
“No, good day Spock.” Iridessa says very briskly causing Spock to reel a little bit at her distance. He wants to ask something else, but the door slams shut behind him quickly.  
“Dammit Iri that was cold.”  
“Leonard I need your assistance.”  
“Of course what can I do for you?”  
“I need you to keep them off my back for a while till I can gain control of my powers again. I am unable to think straight nor am I able to maintain my proper body temperature.”  
“Okay but what would you like me to do?”  
“I would like you to induce a coma.” Iridessa says very seriously at first McCoy thought she was kidding, but by the seriousness in her tone he can see she means business.  
“A coma, Iridessa that is ridiculous and very dangerous you could very well die! How the hell would I explain that to Jim?” McCoy shouts at her and she says nothing as she takes his hand in her grasp.  
‘Leo I can’t do this anymore… I don’t want to do this anymore.’  
“Iri no… Iridessa I can’t allow you to kill yourself… I won’t.”  
‘Leo it is all right I do not fear death anymore… I have lived long enough and I want you to do it before I hurt someone… If my powers continue to ravish my mind like they are now then soon there will be nothing left of me.’ Iridessa explains to him as she shows him the projected future of herself. She was nothing more than a husk of her former self, she had a blank look on her face and her normal smile was contorted into a look of pain.  
“Iridessa we can fix this… dammit I’m a doctor not a killer!” Leonard says in anger as he looks at the broken woman standing before him in Jim’s clothing. “I won’t do it! I won’t!”  
‘Very well then I will do it myself… tell Jim I love him and tell Chekov I shall see him in the afterlife.’ Iridessa whispers in her mind as she releases the block on her powers and Leonard watches in despair as his friend is consumed by her power.  
“No!” Leonard yells in anguish as he tries to touch her but her skin is so hot it burns him. “Dammit you’re not dying on me today!” He yells at her as he reaches into his pocket for a vial he had hoped he wouldn’t need. It was a Betazoid anesthetic that rendered a Betazoid temporarily powerless, he had never needed to use it but he was glad he brought it with him as he feels her temperature returning to normal. McCoy seeing no other option takes her to the med bay, once there he puts her on one of the beds set aside for critically wounded personnel. After laying her down he straps her wrists, shoulders, and ankles down then starts a drip of saline mixed with various nutrients needed to sustain her life. “I ain’t letting you kill yourself. I know you can hear me so whatever you have to do to get control of your powers you do it… I’ll keep Jim of your back, but you gotta promise me you’ll come back.”  
‘Thank you Leonard… I shall see you soon.’ He hears whispered weakly into his mind and with that he starts another drip of thiopental to keep her under. McCoy can feel his comlink buzzing and when he looks at the caller it was Jim, but McCoy just let the damn thing buzz… he couldn’t deal with him so he made sure her restraints were tight then he left the room, locking the door behind him. After he locked the door he dims the lights and leaves going about the rest of the day. 

Six Hours later

McCoy was in the middle of taking inventory when Jim comes bursting in. Jim glances around the room hoping that Iridessa had been talking to Bones or just in the med bay to begin with. He had already told Spock to keep a look out on the bridge for her, but after several hours Spock told him that she might be in her quarters resting. At first Jim believed thinking that she could be meditating, but as the minutes became hours Jim began to worry more and more. It wasn’t like her to just disappear so quickly usually she could be found amongst the crew making small talk while keeping morale high…. But after checking with the crew he found out that she was missing sending Jim into overdrive. He ordered that Spock man the ship while he continue his searching. Kirk had even called Bones to see if she was there, but Bones never answered so he went on searching. Finally after having exhausted every other possible place to be he enters the med bay looking for answers.  
“Has anyone here seen Commander Fox it’s very important.?” Kirk asks and before McCoy can stop him an enlisted nurse points to the back room.  
“Jim what are you doing?” McCoy asks as he tries to keep his friend from discovering Iridessa in the other room.  
“I was looking for Iridessa and one of the nurses pointed me back here… It’s kind of dark in there, is she sleeping?”  
“Yes she is so it would do you well to just leave her be.” McCoy responds gruffly trying to get Kirk away from the room before he saw something he didn’t need to.  
“Well in that case I’ll just take her up to my room it’s much more comfortable there.” Kirk reasons and pushes the button to open the door. Once inside the room he can see several IV’s going into her arm, but what gets him the most was that she was strapped down. “Bones what is going on?”  
“Dammit Jim I told you to stay out of here.”  
“Bones what’s going on… Bones tell me now!” Kirk shouts at him and Bones sighs in defeat.  
“She tried to kill herself again… well she actually tried to get me to kill her this time, but I refused…”  
“Again… wait she asked you to kill her. Why?” Jim asks in confusion as he walks over to her bedside and sits on a chair that was drug close to it. Once sitting he picks up one of her hands and intertwines his fingers in hers.  
“Jim there was no other way, I either watched her kill herself from the inside out or put her in a coma so she could deal with what she needs to.” McCoy explains to his best friend who says nothing only continues to hold her hand. “Jim she’ll be alright this isn’t the first time she’s needed to disappear for a few days.  
“I hope she knows what she’s doing.”  
“Captain?”  
“Spock I didn’t see you there, how are things on the bridge?”  
“Everything is running smoothly… May I?” Spock asks as he gestures towards her hand.  
“I guess… T’hy’la what are you going to do?” Kirk asks and he can see Spock’s cheeks twinge green.  
“Captain I am going to attempt to see into her subconscious, but I do not believe it will work since earlier she blocked me out.” Spock answers as he takes a hold of her limp hand. 

Inside Iridessa’s mind

Almost immediately he is hit with an onslaught emotions mostly just pain, and fear. He attempts to find Iridessa but trying to move through those emotions was like moving through mud it takes him a long time to get anywhere. However as he is sifting through her mind he can see clips of memories most of them were having to do with her time aboard the Enterprise. It makes Spock smile to know that he too was apart of these memories seeing as most of the crew hated his presence. After wading through those memories he then comes upon the ones of her in StarFleet Academy. He watches as she works one on one with Dr. McCoy, studying several different medical texts, and then lastly it shows her being held in the arms of Pavel Chekov.  
“He dumped me Pavel!” Iridessa cries as she bangs on his dorm door at three in the morning.  
“Iri what?” Pavel answers in nothing more then his boxers as he holds the door open for his distraught friend.  
“Jackson from our weaponry class… he told me I was a freak and then left me.” She wails into Pavel’s shoulder as he hugs her tightly.  
“You’re not a freak, and I told you this would happen… Jackson is a jerk.” Pavel tells her and she nods her head in agreement. “Would you like to stay here or shall I escort you back to your dorm?” He asks after she cries herself out for the most part only sniffling a little bit.  
“Can I just stay here?”  
“Sure I see no reason why you can’t, you can have my bed and I’ll sleep here.” Pavel says and she goes to get up, but then stops.  
“We could share the bed.” Iridessa suggests meekly as her looks at her with a smile. “I mean if you want to.” Pavel nods his head in yes as they both make their ways to the bed. Pavel climbs in first and then Iridessa follows after him cuddling into his tight grasp.  
“I will never leave you.”  
‘I love you Pavel.’ She whispers quietly into his mind and he sends her the same message back. Spock can’t help but feel a little bit of remorse for Pavel when he watches the next memory. They had been out sparring, preparing for their last test needed to graduate and as they were sparring Captain Kirk had wandered into the room. Spock watched as Iri tried to focus on the man attempting to knock her down, but something about the Captain’s blue eyes beckoned to her. So sneaking a glance she manages to catch Jim staring directly at her ass. While dodging a punch from Pavel she enters the Captain’s mind very easily.  
‘Stop staring at my ass.’ Iridessa orders and she watches as the Captain looks around for the owner of the voice.  
‘Hello?’  
‘Captain Kirk I won’t tell you again stop staring at my butt.’  
‘How do you know I’m staring at your ass I could be staring at his.’  
‘Captain need I remind you that.’ She starts to think at him but Pavel lands his finishing move pinning her to the ground with a loud oomph.  
“Iri it’s like you’re not even paying attention.” Pavel says as he offers a hand to his dazed friend. “Iri are you even listening to me?”  
“...” When she doesn’t respond Pavel follows the line of her sight and sees her staring directly at Captain Kirk a man famous for not only his strong leadership, but also his lady swooning. Pavel isn’t worried though this man was also known for using woman and then throwing them out like yesterdays trash, so Pavel just smiles at Iri as she comes back to her senses.  
“Damn you and your long legs… How am I supposed to avoid you sweeping my legs out from underneath me?” Iridessa pouts and Pavel just chuckles quietly as he brushes a long strand of red hair out of her eyes.  
“You could have either backed off or jumped over it.” Pavel answers smoothly and out of the corner of his eye he watches Captain Kirk smirk as though he had just been issued a challenge of some sort. Iri blushes slightly as she feels Pavel’s hand linger on the side of her face cupping her cheek gently.  
“Pavel what are you doing?” Iri asks quietly as she notices Captain Kirk’s stare continue to linger on them.  
“I was going to kiss you.” Pavel says as he leans down and brushes her lips against his.  
‘Pavel… please don’t do this… not now.’ He hears Iridessa whisper in his mind, however he only deepens the kiss and to his surprise she doesn’t fight it in fact she deepens it.  
“Ahem!” Kirk says as he clears his throat and the two pull apart slowly.  
“Sorry Captain… What can we help you with?”  
“I am looking for some replacements on my ship… Two of my officers quit recently and instead of just be assigned two more I was hoping to recruit them myself… Are you Lieutenant Commander Fox?” Kirk explains and Iridessa nods. “Good, Dr. McCoy suggested you should come aboard, he said you were at the top of your class… and are you Weapons Officer Chekov?”  
“Aye Captain I am, who recommended me?”  
“No one, but you two seem to be a packaged deal and since I need Commander Fox I’m extending the invitation to you as well. However if you would like to decline I can assure you that your friend will be well taken care of.” Kirk says as he stares Iridessa over suggestively making her blush again.  
“I will come.” Pavel says very quickly and he can see Kirk’s eyes twitch in anticipation of his challenge. However Spock doesn’t get to see anymore as he is brought to what is a small open field. On either side there are dense pine trees and throughout the field itself small black daisies grow, which he finds strange since that particular breed of flower doesn’t grow in that color. He expects another memory, but decides he is wrong when Iridesscent herself stands there staring at him frigidly while wearing a short strapless dark blue dress covered in lacy pattern of the very same daisies growing in the field. Spock didn’t notice it before but there was a warm breeze that fluttered her hair slightly as well as the dress, and for the second time in his life he had felt the human emotion of love. This was the woman whom Jim wanted to spend the rest of his life with, this fiery, but eerily cold woman. And for the first time Spock was completely okay with sharing his T’hy’la if it was with this beautifully, sylph-like woman.  
“Commander Spock why are you here?” Iridess asks the Vulcan coldly she had specifically told Leonard to keep everyone away from her. The warm breeze became colder than the tundras of an ice planet as he saw her gaze turn cryptic.  
“I came because I am worried about you Commander and despite the illogicy of my worry… I am still as humans say worried.” Spock says trying to keep his voice even against the cold wind that seemed to be chilling him down to the bone. “I also came to tell you that I am sorry… When Jim explained it to me I assumed you knew of our intent, had I known that it wasn’t like it used to be I would have never attempted it.”  
“I know Spock I saw the truth in your mind long before you arrived in my sanctuary.” Iridessa sighs as she releases her cold grip on the air temperature allowing it to once again become a friendly breeze.  
“If you knew of my presence then why did you…”  
“Because Spock I wanted you to know that Pavel and I were bonded long before Jim came along… But Jim… There is a sense of danger around him that…”  
“That is both logical and illogical at the same time, and for some reason you cannot seem to get enough of it… Every time you try to leave it is as though that danger calls you back a call that you cannot refuse no matter how far away you go.” Spock explains finishing Iridessa’s sentence perfectly.  
“Yes and I love Pavel. You must believe me I do, but I believe I love Jim more.”  
“I know what it is like to love one but be with another… Nyota and I were together long before Jim showed up.”  
“Ahh yes I remember the day Nyota came to my office for counselling… She is a good woman, but she is nothing compared to him.”  
“Yes now you know my conundrum, and it seems that you are in a very similar one.”  
“Spock do you think there is enough room in his heart for both of us?”  
“Commander I do believe so because often after our times of passion when he would be asleep he would call your name softly… It was as though he wanted you but his mind was too stubborn to admit it.” Spock tells her hoping to elicit a smile from her pale red lips, but she only seems to pull them tighter into a frown.  
“I knew he would never forget… from the day I first met him I knew he would never be able to truly forget me like I asked him to.”  
“Well how could he you are positively radiant when you smile.” Spock tells her sweetly as he steps closer guiding her down turned face up and towards his. “I remember the first time we met.”  
“Oh do you?” Iridessa inquires with a smile and Spock feels his heart warm a little (metaphorically of course).  
“Yes it was seven months after you came aboard the Enterprise and I had needed a bandage for Captain because he had picked a newly formed scab from a recent battle. However when I arrived in med bay looking for Dr. McCoy he was gone, and in his place I saw a freshly minted Commander in a blue Starfleet dress. At first I assumed you were just an assisting human nurse but then you.”  
‘I introduced myself in Vulcan as well as telepathically.’  
“Yes, and you can imagine my confusion as this young Commander whom name I couldn’t remember was speaking the language of my homeland in my own mind… I’m not sure if you realize the scare you gave me.” Spock explains to her as she pulls out of his grip as though she had suddenly remembered something.  
“Spock what is the nature of your and Jim’s relationship, and how do you think he would feel with me in it?”  
“At first I wasn’t quite sure about it but now after feeling how deep your love for Jim runs I believe that we can share him.” Spock says with a smirk and for some reason Iridessa can’t express the joy she feels right now. As she turns back around to face Spock she can feel his lips on her. However this time she doesn’t fight it when the Vulcan goes to deepen in fact she takes control of the situation biting the man’s bottom lip. Spock eagerly allows her access as he feels her tongue exploring his mouth. She notes that his mouth runs a few degrees hotter than a normal human’s which makes her smile, knowing that if her powers were activated during sex at least she wouldn’t bother Spock… Jim however was fucked.  
“Spock?” Iridessa says as she pulls back panting heavily.  
“Yes Commander.”  
“Do you think it’s appropriate for us to be having sex in my mind?”  
“As Jim often says fuck it.” Spock says as he surges forward knocking Iridessa onto the thick grass. He says nothing else as he pulls at her clothing while Iridessa pulls at his, however normal speed wasn’t fast enough for Iridessa as she uses her powers to burn their clothing off. “That was very illogical Commander Fox.”  
“I know but you love it don’t you First Officer Spock.”  
“Say my name again.” Spock commands as he dives back in kissing his way down her neck leaving bruises in his wake. Iridessa says nothing other than letting out a low moan as he nips her pulse point, however he suddenly stops causing Iri to groan in frustration. “Say my name Iridessa.”  
“Of course Mr. Spock… How do you want me to say it? Would you like me to call you Master Spock, Commander Spock, or perhaps you would Captain Spock?” Iridessa asks in a sultry tone and Spock releases a feral groan as he puts knees open her legs. “You like it when I say your name don’t you… Captain Spock I want you to take me, take me harder than I’ve ever been taken before. Show me who I belong to!” Iridessa pants in his ear as she wraps her legs around his body.  
“Your wish is my command Commander.” Spock whispers as he penetrates her swiftly.  
“Trensu!” Iridessa moans in wanton as she writhes underneath him. Spock wastes no time as he captures her mouth again as he snaps his hips in and out at a rapid pace pushing them both closer to climax given the intensity of the situation. She attempts to moan but they’re swallowed by Spock kissing her roughly.  
“T’hai’la!” Spock whispers as he pushes himself in one last time sending his love and devotion to her mentally sending Iridessa over the edge as well. As Spock looks into her eyes he watches as her irises actually change from their icy blue to a light and airy blue as if to suggest a great tension had been resolved in her life. Pulling out gently Spock then lies back down beside her with a sated smile on his face.  
“How was that Trensu?”  
“Wonderful T’hai’la, are you aware of your eye color change?” Spock asks her as he pulls her into his embrace, fiddling with her unruly hair. He takes a piece of it and begins to braid it idly as she stares into his eyes as if searching for something.  
“My eyes… Oh no, Spock tell me what color they are now.”  
“A light blue, the color of the sky… however they seem to be shifting back to normal now. Why?”  
“If they ever turn red meld with me immediately and knock me out.”  
“T’hai’la that worries me… Are you in…”  
“Spock just promise me that will you.”  
“Of course, I promise.”  
“Hey Spock how long have you been in here?”  
“I’m not really sure, my sense of reality is distorted in here.” Spock responds and Iridessa just sighs as she watches him continue to play with her hair. “Should we leave?”  
“No not just yet, and besides I’m sure Leonard has us connected in some way.” Iridessa assure Spock as she snuggles into his chest as he pulls her to him tightly.

Meanwhile in the regular word

“Bones he has been in there for three days, this can’t be normal!” Kirk says in outrage as he watches his lovers breathe in unison. “Bones can’t you do something?”  
“No Jim I can’t without killing Spock or her and I’m not even going down that road.” McCoy says and Kirk just stares at him in frustration.  
“Bones…”  
“Jim why don’t you go up to your quarters, shower, and eat… I bet by the time you come back they’ll be awake.” McCoy assures and with a sigh Kirk raises slowly leaving his chair then heading towards the exit. Taking his best friends advice he showers quickly then heads down to the mess hall to grab something to eat as he finishes his meal he runs into Chekov.  
“Captain Kirk.”  
“Chekov how are you?”  
“Fine, have you seen Commander Fox?”  
“I have, she is fine and currently she is playing chess with our First Officer Spock.” Kirk lies hoping it sounds reasonable.  
“Oh, would it be possible for me to see her… I need to tell her something important.” Chekov inquires and he watches the Captain sigh heavily.  
“I’m afraid that’s not possible thing right now… it’s a very intense game… more of like a mental tournament.”  
“She’s retreated into her own mind and Spock went in after her didn’t he?” Chekov deduces leaving Kirk’s mind reeling…  
‘How did he figure that out so fast?’ Kirk thinks to himself and Chekov just stares at him expectantly.  
“Captain?”  
“Yes Chekov.”  
“When she comes out please let her know that I need to talk to her.”  
“Of course Chekov.” Kirk tells him and Chekov takes off down a nearby hallway. After throwing his garbage away he heads back down to the med bay where he finds Bones busy with some sort of doctor thing… hell if Kirk knew he was a Captain not a doctor. Upon making his way back to the room he notices something different about the atmosphere had changed.  
And that’s when he notices a strange sound it was as if someone was moaning or… if Kirk thought about it…. he could swear that was the sound of Spock right before he was going to cum. As Kirk approaches the bed he can see Spock with a raging erection and Iridessa seems to be panting as well.  
“Damn even without trying he gets her… This is complete bullshit.” Kirk mutters angrily as he settles back in his chair and rests his head on Spock’s leg. “Please wake up soon.” Kirk whispers as he looks up at them with big lost puppy eyes. On an entire ship full of people he felt so lonely without his two crew members. 

Several hours later

After tending to his doctorly duties McCoy enters the room where the Commanders were resting or mind melding… dammit he was a doctor not a psychologist… or even a mind reader… Anyways upon entering he notices Kirk resting his head on Spock’s leg and he also notices Iridessa waking up slowly.  
“Leo…”  
“Iri, how are you?”  
“Water… Can you get me some water?”  
“Here… where’s Spock?”  
“.... he’s in my sanctuary resting… How long has Jim been here?”  
“Wait… so where is he?”  
“He’s in my mind… Does that sound as creepy as I think it does?”  
“Mmm… Iri where’s Spock?” Kirk mumbles sleepily as he rubs his eyes in a child like manner.  
“Kirk how long have you’ve been here?”  
“Long time… I’m going back to sleep, wake me when Spock wakes up.” Kirk mutters as he falls back asleep leaving both Iridessa and McCoy shaking their heads in mild disbelief.  
“Leo can you release me without disturbing them.”  
“Yeah no problem… and you’re free.”  
“Thanks.” Iridessa says gratefully as she rubs her wrists noticing the deep purple bruising but quickly hides them by crossing her arms over her chest.  
“Iri are you alright because I know when you were on your way in…”  
“Leo I’m fine, actually I’m going to head up to Jim’s room… as much as I love sharing a cramped hospital bed with Spock, I’d much rather prefer Jim’s.” Iri says and McCoy nods his head slowly as he watches the woman retreat into the turbolift. After the doors shut he watches as Spock awakes very groggily.  
“Mr. Spock are you alright?”  
“Yes of course why wouldn’t I be, and where’s Iri?” Spock asks as he glances around the room for his T’hai’la, but the only other person he sees besides Dr. McCoy is his T’hy’la who has taken to lying his head on Spock’s upper thigh.  
“Iri headed up to Jim’s room something about a large bed, but I think it’s because she knows when you wake up you’ll drag Jim up there anyways.” McCoy answers as he watches Spock hesitantly jostle Kirk causing him to awaken slightly.  
“Not now Commander I’m tired.”  
“Captain come on let’s get you to bed.”  
“No Commander… I give you full command of the ship handle the problem without me.”  
“Come now T’hy’la, awaken so we can leave this place.” Spock whispers into Jim’s ear as he cards a hand gently through his Captain’s unruly hair.  
“Spock?”  
“Yes T’hy’la now come with me so I can take you to your bed.”  
“You’re coming too right?” Kirk asks quietly and Spock nods his head in the affirmative. “Where’s Iri, Bones?”  
“She’s in your chambers Jim.”  
“Oh that’s nice of her, Mr. Spock?”  
“Yes Jim.”  
“We’re you two having some sort of freaky mind sex?”  
“Yes Jim we were and she accepted my invitation to join us.”  
“That’s good… since I won’t remember, tell her Chekov is looking for her he said it was very important.” Jim mumbles and Spock looks at him quizzically.  
“Chekov… what could Chekov possibly want with her?” Spock wonders out loud as Jim wraps his arms around his waist momentarily distracting him from his thoughts.  
“Spock?”  
“Yes Captain.”  
“I love you.” Jim whispers into Spock’s shoulder as he leans his head on him.  
“As do I Jim… Now come let’s get you to bed.” Spock murmurs in his ear as he opens the door to his quarters expecting to find Iridessa in the bed, but it is empty. “Iri?” Spock asks but he receives no response other than the silence. At first he wanted to ask Jim where she was, but then it occurs to him that Jim most likely didn’t know.  
“Mr. Spock where’s Commander Fox?” Jim asks as he falls into the soft covers.  
“I’m not entirely sure.”  
“Oh… oh… Oh!” Jim curses as he sits back up, however Spock having had enough mind games straddles his lover’s lap.  
“Jim she is on a well guarded ship, she can take control of people’s minds, and she has been trained by this ships most well trained weapon’s master… She will be fine.” Spock whispers in his ear and this seems to satisfy him as he leans back into his pillows. “Jim go to bed, she’ll show up here when she can.”  
“Okay Spock.” Jim concedes as he finally closes his eyes and with a triumphant smile Spock slides down lying next to him. He then rolls over to face the door incase Iridessa decides to show up. Spock makes sure there is enough space for the woman to slide in between them if she does arrive.  


Morning

“Iridessa you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Chekov yells at his Commander as she turns away from him. “He’s just going hurt you, like they always do!”  
“No I have seen into his heart and I’ve seen into his mind he loves me.” Iridessa tells her friend who just stares at her in disbelief.  
“But I love you! What about me I love you!”  
“Chekov… but I don’t…”  
“Don’t you dare tell me that shit you are lying to yourself like you always do! I have watched you be scorned, burned, and emotionally annihilated by these men who ‘love’ you… Can’t you see that it’s a lie?” Chekov yells at her but slowly his tone notches down and Iri says nothing as she looks him in her eyes. “Tell me you don’t love me, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me.”  
“Chekov, I don’t…” Iri starts to say, but before she can finish Chekov punches her in the face and she can feel her cheekbone break. “I don’t love you.” Iri finishes as the punch does nothing to damage her resolve. “You may hit me and you may yell at me, but I still won’t love you like you want me to. I love you as a close friend, a brother, and a trusted advice giver but nothing more.”  
“I… just get out of here, go before I do something even stupider.” Chekov whispers as he retreats further into his room, and she leaves his room quickly. She can feel the tears streaming down her face as well as the swelling of her cheek. However instead of seeking the comfort of Jim and Spock she sneaks down to the med bay hoping Dr. Mccoy had went to bed… but no such luck as she sees him busy tapping away on a nearby data pad. Using her powers she enters his mind very delicately hoping to maintain her unannounced presence.  
“Iri what are you doing here I thought…” McCoy trails off as he notices his friends face. “Dammit what happened to your face?”  
“Nothing, do you need any help?”  
“No it’s just simple paperwork, and doesn’t that hurt?” McCoy asks as he puts his data pad down and inches closer to her.  
“I’m fine it’s just a scratch.” Iri tells him as she maintains her distance knowing that if she were allow him to get close he would see the true nature of the wound.  
“You know if you’re going to keep dancing away from me then what is the point of you coming to me?”  
‘I can here simply because I wanted company and not the romantic kind… So tell me are you going to press that commlink button again.’  
“Damn telepathic beings…”  
“I will stay out of your mind as long as you promise to tell no one about this.”  
“Fine scout’s honor.”  
“Good.”  
“Now there are several things I don’t understand about what has happened over the last few days.”  
“Hmm?” Iridessa asks as she takes the pad from his hands and begins to check the boxes and fill out the forms.  
“Where did you go? Where did Spock go? How we’re you two talking to eachother, and why did he have an erection? Also since when has Jim been bisexual?” Leonard asks in rapid succession causing Iri to look up from the data pad.  
“I went into my sanctuary. It is a part of my mind where I go in great times of stress, and it is the command center for my powers… Sort of like the bridge on this ship. When Spork mind melded with me it allowed him to briefly see into my state of being, but when I noticed him lurking in my mind I decided to let him in all the way…”  
“Can you do this with all people?”  
“Yes would you like to see what I see?” Iridessa asks as she puts a hand on his and looks into his eyes. “Breathe Leo this will not hurt.” She tells him as she senses his apprehension. It takes mere seconds before she and him are transported to her sanctuary.  
“What is…” Leo stutters in amazement as he admires the serene scene before him. “Iri this is magnificent!” He says as he leans down to touch the grass blowing gently in the wind and Iri can’t hide her smile at his wonderment.  
“You are like a child who first discovers candy.”  
“Simply incredibly… Can you come here at any time?”  
“Yes… as long as my... “ Iri starts but trails off and Leonard watches as the scene before him is gone and he is back in the med bay.  
“Iri?”  
“I am sorry… Leo but I don’t have the strength to show you more, another time perhaps?”  
“Yes, but about my other questions… were you and Spock.”  
“Yeah it’s no big deal, and Jim has been bisexual as long as I have known him… why, does it matter?”  
“No that was just simple curiosity… How long do you think he and Spock were?”  
“Right after Spock and Uhora ended it… Spock went to Jim for comfort unaware of his true feeling and Jim always being a catalyst… well he just sorta leaned in a bit and Spock conquered him like Kilingons on the warpath.”  
“Ha I always knew…”  
“Tell me Dr. McCoy what did you always know?” Spocks inquisitory tone rings throughout the med bay as he enters approaching them with a curious smile. Iridessa keeps her back to him to avoid questions about her wound.  
“That Jim was deathly allergic to the smell of my perfume… He would never admit weakness but I could see it.” Iridessa lies quickly and smoothly allowing Spock no sense of deception.  
“Commander you wouldn’t happen to be lying to me would you?”  
“No Commander Spock, Leonard and I were just discussing my inner sanctuary.” Iri tells him and Spock stares at her back noticing the tenseness of her shoulders. A clear sign that she was stressed about something, his curiosity getting the better of him, he goes to face her… But Iridessa being the smarter one swiftly turns away keeping her face hidden.  
“Commander what are you doing?”  
“I am simply checking to make sure these are stocked properly.” Iridessa lies as she opens the cabinet revealing it to be full of towels and rags as well as some cleaning supplies. “And look it seems that this is stocked perfectly.” She mutters in anger as she feels her tone wavering as well as Spock’s growing suspicion.  
“Commander what are you hiding?” Spock inquires as he walks up behind her effectively cornering her between the wall and his body. “Commander please turn around.”  
“No thank you, I’m rather tired after the aftermath of the last few days so I believe I’m just going to go.” Iridessa says quickly as she bolts to the side, however Spock was to quick for her as he grabs her hand halting her retreat.  
“Iri?” Spock asks as he tries to meld with her, but he feels her fighting against it as if to hide something from him. However him never one to be deterred pushes against her barriers harder, Spock can feel a crack created in her usually impervious defenses. In fact he almost breaks through but her powers recoil causing him to be blocked out completely. The exchange leaves them both panting hard and McCoy watches as Iridessa looks as though she might pass out.  
“Iridessa are you alright?” McCoy says as he stands up, but she nods her head in yes.  
“Fine Leo… I’m ... “ Iridessa stutters as she leans heavily against the wall. “Leo…”  
“Dammit Iridessa just show him.”  
“No… I can…”  
“Enough T’hai’la!” Spock growls his patience had finally snapped as he pulls Iridessa to face him and when he does he sees the large cut with heavy bruising. “T’hai’la how did this happen, who did this?”  
“No one Trensu, I fell.”  
“Do not lie to me!” Spock yells in anger as his mate flinches at the tone seeing this he calms a bit. “I’m sorry T’hai’la I did not mean to yell.”  
“It’s fine Spock… Can we go to my room, I don’t want Jim to see this?”  
“No Jim will see this and you will tell me what happened.”  
“Spock it’s really not necessary…”  
“This is non negotiable.” Spock says in a final tone as he picks her up into his arms and then lifts her onto a bed. He leaves her and gets a small canister of cream when he comes back he takes a little bit onto his fingers and smears it on the cut. Iridessa hisses in pain as the cut closes itself up for the most part. “T’hai’la tell me who did this.”  
“No… thank you.”  
“My pleasure… Dr. McCoy who did this to her?”  
“I do not know… if I did I could assure you that I would be kicking his ass.” McCoy tells him as he watches Iridessa look of into the distance as if searching her mind for something.  
“Commander I’m taking you to our room…”  
“But Spock I want to go to my room.”  
“I’m taking you to ours so we can avoid anymore unnecessary accidents.” Spock tells her and she goes to argue but the look he gives her tells her that this is final. Acknowledging defeat she sits there quietly and Spock looks at her with sympathy. “Let’s go T’hai’la.”  
“Yes Trensu.” Iridessa says and Spock offer her a hand which she refuses to take. “I just need to get something from my quarters.”  
“Of course, I’ll wait for you outside of your quarters.” Spock says as she nods her head while they walk to the turbolift. Once in Spock wraps his arm around her waist causing her to blush brightly. “Trensu, stop.”  
“Never my T’hai’la, never.” Spock whispers and for some reason he wished Jim was there it had been a while since he had seen him. He however gets his wish when the Captain gets on the turbolift five floors before Iridessa’s. Spock was in the middle of kissing Iri passionately so he didn’t immediately notice Jim. Jim notices his Commanders locking lips up against the wall and can’t help but just gawk at Spock’s open display of affection.  
“Trensu, oh Trensu don’t stop.” Iridessa moans as Spock uses his hand to rub the insides of her thighs causing her to gasp. “Trensu, oh Spock! Captain Spock higher, please higher.” She begs while she parts her legs slightly inviting Spock to go higher. and that is when Spock pulls back with a breathy laugh.  
“It would do you well to address your proper Captain by his title.” They hear a strong and familiar voice say.  
“Captain I thought you would never join us.” Spock murmurs as he continues ravishing Iridessa at first Kirk just stares at him.  
“Spock will you at least wait till she gets up to our room.” Kirk tells him as he pulls Spock off of her. “She’s a lady Spock.”  
“Yes Captain I am aware of her gender in fact I am very aware of her gender.” Spock tells him as he uses his hand to lovingly caress her face. However he stops when she hisses in pain. The hiss causes Jim to fully turn around and that is when he sees the bruising on her face.  
“Iri what happened?” Jim asks in outrage and Spock steps aside so that he can inspect it for himself. “Iridessa did someone punch you?”  
“No someone didn’t punch me.” Iridessa lies and Kirk glares at her.  
“You’re lying to me.”  
“I am not.”  
“Yes you are and it would do you well not to lie to your Captain… I would hate to have to punish you.” Kirk says in a sultry tone, and Iridessa just rolls her eyes.  
“Spock are you waiting with me or are you staying with Captain controlling?”  
“I will accompany you.”  
“Hey I’m not controlling and where are you going?” Kirk asks as he follows them out and to the Commander’s room.  
“I just have to get something.” Iridessa tells them with a polite smile and the men nod quickly. As the door slides shut behind her Iridessa release a loud sigh as she collapses onto her bed glad to have a few moments of peace to herself.  
“I thought you would never come back.” Chekov says and Iridessa freezes as she sits up while he comes out of a dark corner.  
“Pavel what are you doing here?”  
“I came to apologize, it was wrong for me to do what I did and I can’t tell you how sorry I am..”  
“Pavel I’m so glad you came around and I forgive you!” Iridessa says in excitement she had been very worried that she wouldn’t get her best friend back.. but here he was! Pavel says nothing else as he pulls her in for a hug, she never notices a very small syringe he carried.  
“Iridesscent I’ll always love you…” Chekov whisper into her ear as he wraps his arms around her. She doesn’t even feel the prick as he injects her in the side although Iridessa can feel her mind growing cloudy.  
“Pavel I don’t… what did you do?”  
“Nothing, why?”  
“My eyes… Pavel I can’t focus… Please help me.”  
“Of course, why don’t you lie back?”  
“T’hai’la!” She whimpers quietly as her mind completely goes dark.  
“If I can’t have you then no one can.” Chekov mutters darkly as he pulls out a scalpel and goes to work make cuts along her face. He laughs sadistically as she remains motionless under his deep cuts.  
Outside the door

“Kirk she has been in there a long time maybe she fell asleep.” Spock says as something nags him in the back of his mind and Kirk nods at him.  
“Should we go in there?”  
“I think we should.” Kirk answers as the door slowly slides open it reveals Chekov cutting into a passed out Iridessa.  
“Chekov what are you doing?” Spock yells at the deranged crew member and they watch as he slowly turns to face them. On his face was a twisted grin which truly revealed how fall the man had fallen.  
“If I couldn’t have her then no one can, especially not the likes of you!” Chekov growls as he throws the scalpel at Captain Kirk who dodges it barely. Spock not wanting to risk anyone elses life immediately pulls his phaser. This appears to do nothing to stop Chekov in his approach of the Captain so with absolutely no regret Spock shoots him and like a rock Chekov drops to the ground heavily.  
“Captain check to make sure he is dead and get McCoy on the com I want to know what he used.” Spock orders and Kirk kicks Chekov, but he doesn’t move so he’s satisfied that he is dead. Next he pulls out his com.  
“Bone you there?”  
“Yes Jim what is it?”  
“I need to know… Spock what is he looking for?”  
“Any sort of heavy anesthetic recently used by the crew.”  
“Bones did you hear him?”  
“Yeah I checked the records it seems Chekov asked for a heavy sleeping drug… he was complaining about being unable to sleep.”  
“Dr. McCoy was it just a simple anesthetic or was there any sort of side effects?”  
“Not that can be seen, why what’s this all about?”  
“It seems Chekov finally lost it and we found him cutting open Iridessa in her chambers.”  
“Jim that’s… but he… really?” Leonard says in disbelief, though he remembered how one of his professors at StarFleet said that obsession did scary things to the mind.  
“Well you better believe it.” Kirk tells him and he can hear Bones rustling papers on the other end.  
“Alright don’t do anything I’m on my way.” Bones orders and Jim notices Spock staring at her expectantly.  
“Spock you realize that she is under heavy sedation she…”  
“Jim that’s not what I’m doing.”  
“Then what are you doing?” Kirk asks as he stares at him curiously.  
“I’m reaching out to her unconsciousness to find out what happened through her eyes.” Spock answers and that is when he sees Chekov slinks out from the shadows then embrace her while injecting her.  
“Spock?”  
“She walked in and he ambushed her essentially.. However she is fine, she is safe in the depths of mind.”  
“Okay, I’m taking her… Can you wait for Bones?” Jim asks and Spock nods in yes as he glares at the man’s dead body. He wastes no time in scooping up his fallen commander and then walks back to the turbolift. Upon opening it reveals Bones with two security guards.  
“Jim is she alright?”  
“Yes Spock did his weird mental mind mapping and he said she was… Spock is waiting in there, he will no more then I will.” Kirk answers and Bones just nods his head in agreement.  
“Dammit Jim, I knew love was a powerful thing but this is just ridiculous.”  
“Don’t tell me I’m the one who almost lost a lover today to a crazy Weapon’s officer.”  
“Jim has it ever occured to you that you caused this situation in the first place.”  
“How so?”  
“Your the one who drove a wedge between those two and then to add insult to injury you flaunted it right in front of him.” Bones points out and this causes Jim to stop in his step.  
“Maybe but he…”  
“No Jim you caused this so at least be man enough to admit it.”  
“Shut up Bones, and even if this was my fault… If Iri really loved him then she wouldn’t have chosen Spock and I because we didn’t force her into anything since our first misunderstanding.” Kirk tells him and Bones goes to say something but the glare he receives from his friend stops him mid thought.  
“Go on then Jim, but you better take care of her.”  
“We will Dr. McCoy now can you hurry up and confirm this so I can…”  
“Alright Spock I’m coming.” Bones tells the impatient Vulcan and he goes to say something else to Jim but he had already disappeared into the lift. 

Jim’s POV

He carries her to his bed and pulls her boots off as well as her formal clothing. “God I wish you were awake.” He whispers as he pulls off the form fighting dress then slips one of his t-shirts onto her. “There, much more comfortable.” Jim says with a smile at his accomplishment and he kicks off his boots while shedding his pants and captain’s shirt.  
“Alright Iri time for a nap.” Jim says to her sleeping form which makes him shake his head… she was sleeping it’s not like she could hear him, so with that he lies down next to her and pulls the covers up. He feels her body roll towards his and he pulls her into his arms. She then snuggles into his chest and he sighed in contentment. Jim can feel himself falling into a deeper and deeper sleep as his breathing falls in line with her heartbeat. 

Several hours later

“Chekov no… Pavel stop!” Iridessa screams as she bolts upright startling the body next to her and the one sitting up beside her reading.  
“Iri are you alright?” Spock asks her as he notices how wide her eyes look it was as if she had been reliving the situation.  
“Where am I? How did I get here?” Iri stammers as she looks around the room trying to piece together the situation. “Where’s Pavel?”  
“T’hai’la, Pavel Chekov is dead, I killed him after we discovered what he was doing to you and when he threw a scalpel at Jim. I was not going to risk capturing him.” Spock tells the woman who stares at him in horror. “Iri he was going to kill you.”  
“You killed… you killed Pavel…” Iri whispers in disbelief as she crawls to the edge of the bed in shock. “You… killed… my…. best friend.”  
“Iri you need to know that he hurt you… Iri can’t you feel the cuts on your face?” Jim asks and that is when Iri does notice the sharp pain coming from her face and neck, but still… that was her friend, her oldest, and closest friend.  
“T’hai’la look at me.” Spock commands her gently, but Iri remains facing away. “T’hai’la you must understand that he was hurting you.”  
“I am a commander... Commanders don’t cry, Commanders are strong, Commanders are the epitome of leadership, others look to Commanders for support.” Iri begins to repeat to herself as she forces back the tears of betrayal, anger, but most of all sadness. She had just lost one of the few men who truly loved her for her and it was all because of them… they did this, if they hadn’t… Iridessa begins to think as her thoughts turn nefarious… but even that feels wrong she knew that her Trensu had done the right thing because otherwise she would have many more than these cuts on her face. However she refuses to weep right now this wasn’t the time… then again what was the right time to weep for your best friend who went crazy and then tried to kill you in a very sadistic way.  
“T’hai’la can you hear me?” Spock asks quietly hearing nothing other than the mantra she continued to repeat to herself over and over again. He turns to Jim in worry as he crawls to the edge of the bed and sits next to her. However even this doesn’t get her attention so he puts a hand on her thigh in a soothing gesture. Very unexpectedly and as if a great dam of emotion broke Iri lies her head on Spock’s lap and begins to weep very loudly. “T’hai’la shh… it’s alright you are safe now.” Spock whispers into her ear as Jim retrieves a box of tissues from his nightstand. He offers one to Iri who shakes her head and continues to weep on Spock’s lap causing his pants to become soaked in his lover’s tears.  
“It’s not fair!” She yells while bolting upright very suddenly as she turns to face the two men.  
“No Iri life rarely is.”  
“Oh shut up Jim! For once get off of your damn high horse, and consider that maybe for just a single moment in time one of you stupid life goes on speeches isn’t going to help!” Iri shouts at him as she storms into the bathroom. The men wait several moments before they hear the showers turn on followed by the smell of something burning.  
“T’hai’la is everything alright in there?” Spock asks hesitantly as he hears the sound of sizzling as though water was being poured onto hot steel.  
“You know I wasn’t even going to give you a life gets better speech.” Jim grumbles and Spock just turns to him with a smile.  
“T’hy’la you do give those speeches very frequently and I often wonder if you even know what you’re talking about.” Spock says as he gives Jim a quick kiss to show that he isn’t serious.  
“Yeah well I’m not that great at public speaking and they are the only ones that I can ever just use again and again.”  
“And that is just one of the many reasons why I chose you as my T’hy’la.” Spock tells him as he kisses him briefly, Jim however being as mischievous as he is deepens the kiss pulling Spock’s lips back to his. “T’hy’la not right…”  
“You talk to much Spock.” Jim pants as he forces their lips back together while he straddles Spock’s lap pushing him to lie down on the bed. He wastes no time in tugging at Spock’s clothes and Spock pulls back briefly to catch his breath.  
“Captain is it really right to engage in sex while Iridessa is emotionally distraught right now?” Spock asks while Jim tugs off his shirt and then starts with the buckle on his pants.  
“Spock we saved her life right now she needs to come to terms with that, now will you help me with this damn buckle.” Jim growls in frustration as he tugs at it. Spock just rolls his eyes as he undoes his pants causing Jim to smile brightly. “Thanks you, now would you like to fuck me or should I fuck you?”  
“Ass in the air Captain.” Spock says authoritatively leaving Jim no room to question who was in charge right now. “You know for being as rebellious as you are, you take orders quite well.”  
“Shut up Spock.” Jim pants as he feels Spock working several of his long fingers into him. It takes Jim a long time to relax around them and he can feel Spock growing impatient.  
“Captain?”  
“Yes Spock.”  
“Will you relax already, you are tighter than a virgin and this will hurt immensely more than it usually does.” Spock scolds him and at this he feels Jim unclench his muscles. “Good T’hy’la, very good.” He praises and he can see Jim blush at this which he finds odd it was unlike Jim to be so bashful with their times of passion. Spock wonders if it was because of Iridesscent’s addition to their relationship, however before Spock can dwell on it longer he hears Jim make a needy whimper signalling that he was ready. With no hesitation whatsoever Spock plunges into Jim causing the human man to gasp and claw at the sheets.  
“Spock! I told you not to hit that spot when you first…”  
“To be perfectly honest Captain you are in no position to be giving orders.” Spock tells him and he can see Jim’s ears turn red again. “So I think it would do you well to just accept the pleasure I give you.” Spock says in his ear as he begins to nip it playfully causing Jim to moan loudly and it he had to be honest quite like a whore as he continues to push in and out at a rapid pace. Thusly pushing Jim even faster to orgasm, but Spock wasn’t quite there yet so he grips Jim’s dick very tightly.  
“Spock!”  
“Captain if you could please hold on just a few moments… I will release you in a second.” Spock assures his flustered mate who whimpers as he gets pounded into mercilessly.  
“Please Spock, please!” Jim begs as his lover just ignores him and right as Jim thinks he might cry Spock releases him and together they cum. Spock growls and Jim just falls into the sheets panting and gasping as Spock lies on top of him. “I.. love you.”  
“Forever and always T’hy’la forever and always.” Spock tells him as he pulls out gently causing Jim to whimper at the loss. Neither of them notices Commander Iridessa who comes out of the bathroom dressed in her professional attire.  
“Commander?” Jim asks as he pulls himself up to rest on his elbows watching as she pulls on her long black leather boots.  
“Yes Captain.”  
“Where are you going?” Jim says as he twists over to sit up causing him to wince at the pain, Spock watches in mild amusement knowing that something was bound to happen.  
“I am going to the bridge to do my job So if you excuse me I’ll just be…”  
“Now hold on just a minute, Iridessa I believe you were put on temporary leave due to the circumstances.” Jim tells her, knowing that Bones had undoubtedly put her on leave.  
“Captain I’m fine…”  
“No you are not, dammit Iridessa your best friend just tried to kill you! I know that you aren’t fine no matter what facade you put on.” Jim yells at her, but she continues to put on her boots. Spock looks at the woman slowly dressing before him and wonders if it might be better to just let her go, but he then looks to Jim who is radiating anger… which is odd because after sex he is usually so compliant.  
“Jim I’m fucking fine!” Iri shouts at him as she pulls her hair back into a long ponytail and then storms towards the door.  
“Iri you better get your ass back here before I…”  
“Before you what Jim? Leave me for another woman, hit me, or maybe you’re gonna tie me to the bed… Face it Jim I don’t care what you’re going to do to me, now if you excuse me I have business to attend to.” Iridessa finishes as she leaves the room and Jim glares after her and if the human had powers that could cause destruction Spock was sure that they would all be dead.  
“She is not getting away from me this time! She is going to listen to me!” Jim growls angrily as he stands up and pulls on his clothes quickly leaving Spock rather confused on the bed.  
“Captain maybe we should leave her be.”  
“Spock no, she has self destructive tendencies when left alone so I am going after her and that’s final. Are you coming or what?”  
“T’hy’la…”  
“Don’t you T’hy’la me you know it’s true, you’ve seen inside her mind and so have I now let’s go.” Jim snaps and Spock being the lover of both of them he is torn. He knows that Jim is right, but part of him believes that maybe Iri did need time to herself, maybe a sense of normalcy would do her good. However the look he is receiving from Jim makes his decision a little easier as he pulls on his clothes quickly.  
“So where to Captain?”  
“The bridge, that’s where she said she would be.”  
“And do you intend to just drag her back or…”  
“If need be yes, any resistance on her side can merely be explained as a symptom of grief.”  
“Understood.” Spock says as he follows Jim into the lift clicking the button for the bridge.

Iridesscent’s POV

She never went to the bridge… why would she? So she could be reminded of Chekov by the empty seat, then again there was probably already someone there to replace him. And that was not something she was interested in seeing. “Training… I need training.” Iridessa mutters to herself as she steps off into the deck designated for weaponry that also housed an area for combat training.  
“Commander Fox what can I do for you?” Jeremy Endicott the man underneath Chekov asks.  
“Lieutenant Endicott I am in desperate need of sparring partner are you available?”  
“Of course Commander Fox live weapons?”  
“Fuck yes, and I am sorry if you get caught on fire.”  
“Oh Commander this isn’t my first fight with fireworks, now come on.” Jeremy taunts as he draws a small curved blade from his bootleg. Iri smiles at him as she feels her way into his mind.  
‘Jeremy I have already won.’ Iri says as she charges him while dodging his attempts to stab her.  
“Get out of my mind!” Jeremy growls as he pushes her out and manages to cut her on her side causing a thin line of blood to form on her right side above her fifth rib.  
“Dammit I loved this dress!” Iri shouts as she kicks his hand knocking the blade from his hand. Jeremy just chuckles as he begins throwing punches in her direction however she dodges all of them except for the sixth one aimed directly at her neck. It connects sending her gasping and sprawling to the side. “Jeremy…”  
“Commander I didn’t hurt you did I?”  
“Yeah I think you did, but… oh god…” Iri gasps as she slinks to the floor.  
“Commander I’ll get McCoy right away..”  
“No just can you help me up?”  
“Of course!” Jeremy rushes to aid his fallen Commander, but upon arriving she punches him in the face and then kicks him swiftly in the balls sending him crashing to the floor.  
“Jeremy are you okay?” Iridessa asks afraid she might have actually hurt him, but she is surprised when she has her feet swept out from under her and lands with an oomph. “Shit.”  
“Now we’re even.” Jeremy huffs out as she looks up at him with a smile. “Are you still bleeding?”  
“Uh… yes but I am fine.” Iridessa assures, but she could feel the blood saturating the surrounding cloth.  
“That was well done Commander, but next time you and I must both not fall for the fallen’s tricks eh.”  
“Yes and I must say your compassion is a refreshing.” Iri says with a smile as she stands up and pulls Jeremy to his feet as well. Jeremy laughs as he retrieves his fallen blade, and that is when he catches sight of the blood slowly drying on Iridessa’s dress.  
“Commander Fox I must insist that you go see Dr. McCoy, that is much deeper than I intended it to be.” Jeremy tells her and she just glances to the side at it noticing the bruising through the slit in the clothing as well as the cut itself bleeding consistently.  
“I will have it taken care of, Jeremy I must thank you for all of the bruising and now bleeding… perhaps I will make this a regular thing however next time just hand to hand.” Iridessa says with a laugh and the man nods in agreement, however before they can talk more the lift doors open to reveal Spock and a very angry Captain Kirk.  
“Captain Kirk.” Jeremy salutes as the Captain acknowledges him with a nod.  
“Lieutenant Endicott, what was Commander Fox doing down here?” Kirk asks allowing Iri no time to formulate lies.  
“She and I were training.”  
“With what?” Spock inquires when he sees the blood on the floor.  
“A miniature scimitar, she requested live weapons Commander Spock and she was injured.” Endicott reports and that is they turn to face her.  
“Again thank you Jeremy.” Iri tells him as she begins to stalk off ignoring the pain in her side, she can feel it reopen causing a new gush of blood to soak her already saturated dress. Hoping that her powers wouldn’t fail her now she tries to cauterize her wounds on a cellular level but it only succeeds on burning herself. “Spock assistance… please.” Iri says in a breathy tone as she fights to keep her mind and body steady. Spock rushes to grab her as physical fatigue as well as blood loss cause her strength to wane very rapidly.  
“Iri you foolish woman.” Spock scolds as he holds her weakened body.  
“I.. I never… he had always been there… Spock I loved him.” Iri rambles as her normally unwavering emotional strength begins to crack under the physical torment she did to her body. “I… I just… I just wanted… a brother.” Iri whispers as her body finally gives out from all the stress sending Spock into a mild frenzy, whisking her out of the training area before Kirk can even ask a question. He immediately enters the lift and takes her to his own quarters where he has his own personal supply of medical supplies. Once there he lies her on the shower floor and uses a nearby pair of scissors to cut off the cloth, then he washes the blood away from the wound. Spock can see her bruising heavily as well as a burn, he presumes it is from her trying to use her powers on it. Taking a calming breath Spock begins by opening the kit and taking out the appropriate supplies then closing the wound. After he was sure that the injury was taken care of Spock picks her up gently careful of the fresh stitches. He walks over to the bed with her in his arms as he lies her down gently.  
“Spock you in here?” Kirk calls out as he enters his lover’s quarters to find him sitting on the bed striking Iridessa’s hair very slowly. “How is she?”  
“Fine, the wounds will heal… She is… Jim I don’t know how to say this politely.” Spock struggles as he looks to Jim in anger.  
“She’s fucking reckless, and is so hard headed she refuses anyone to help her.” Jim says and that is when Spock nods in agreement.  
“I want to help her, I want to save her from herself, and I want her to… I want her to accept our help.” Spock tells him as he stares down fondly at the woman lying up closely against his body. He hadn’t noticed that her arm was clutching his desperately as though she was afraid that if she let go he would disappear. “Even now she clings to me with the same desperation she had earlier. When will she learn that we won’t leave her?”  
“... I left her once.” Jim says quietly and Spock looks up to see him sitting on the edge of the bed looking at Iri with apprehension. “Every time she looks in a mirror she cracks a little herself, just like the mirror I broke when I left.”  
“Jim what do you mean?” Spock asks curiously, he usually never asked about Jim’s old lovers seeing as they never seemed to concern him but this one did.  
“She caught me having sex with her patient at the time. At first she brushed me off disappearing into her work, but when she came home that night… I could see the fire in her eyes and I knew that this was the day I could possibly die, however it dissolved and we began to talk it out like adults… but then I said something about her being cold and it turned into a big fight, it was destructive like the fire that killed her parents. I watched as her flames came back in full force, threatening to burn down house. I’m not sure what part of me thought it was a good idea, but I picked up a nearby mirror and I showed her what she looked like… It was at that instant when I dropped the mirror and it shattered everywhere glass lying in broken shards all over the room that she broke as well. I can still hear her cries of rage, shouting at me to leave… to never come back to… well you get the point Spock. A lesson she learned well was to control her rage and be very aware of her appearance….” Jim trails off as though wishing to say more but was scared of his own memories.  
“So that is why… In her mind there are many mirror-like surfaces with cracks all throughout the, and that is why when she looks in the mirror her eyes express such sorrow.” Spock says and that is when Jim nods as he crawls over to her then lies down next to her. JIm puts a hand on her body, but when he does she flinches away from him.  
“As you can see her subconscious is very aware of my presence and that Spock is why she cannot love me as she loves you. Her love for you is pure and I have never seen her be this happy without Chekov.” Jim explains and Spock just tilts his head at him in wonder.  
“T’hy’la she loves you as well it is just buried by distrust and anger… You broke her heart and then left her, if you love her as I do then you must stay and prove it. Don’t run away from her like you did the first time, and besides she loves me and I love her.. But I shall always love you so either she will leave both of us or none of us.” Spock tells him and he can feel Iridessa shifting beside him, he is unaware of her awakeness but she can hear him. Iri knows that he is right, she know that in order to love one she must love the other. So she makes a gutsy move and turns over to Jim who was lying down staring over at Spock. Both of them unaware of her consciousness, so very slowly and carefully she turns to him then rests her hand on his chiselled stomach. She can feel him freeze and then his gaze shift down to her body.  
‘Jim I have loved you since the first time I saw you and I loved you as you ran out that door. I loved you even when I felt my heart shatter like those pieces of glass, and still I loved you when I picked up those pieces as they cut my bare hands.’ She whispers into his mind as tears form in her own eyes. The only person she ever didn’t love was herself and she knew that alone was a crime that day she will atone for that.  
“Iri you’re awake.” Kirk says with a smile as he looks into her dark blue eyes, and he can swear he sees then shift into a lighter blue.  
“I am, thank you Trensu for your help.” Iridessa whispers as she pulls herself from the bed and donned a pair of shorts as well as one of Spock’s black t-shirts. She then zips up her long boots and the men just stare at her.  
“T’hai’la where are you going?”  
“I am going to do what I should have done a long time ago.” She says while walking to the door and as it slides open she whispers, “Goodbye Trensu and Jim, and may your love transcend not only this world but time as well.” And with that she leaves the room locking it behind her, jamming the controls preventing them from stopping her. As she walks to the lift she can hear them yelling after her, but as the lift begins it journey she listens as their voices fade out. About halfway there McCoy enters the lift with a cheery smile.  
“Iri it’s a pleasure to see you.”  
“Would you like to visit my sanctuary again Leo?” She asks knowing that after doing what she was going to do there was no going back.  
“I would love to, but Iri tell me why are you wearing such a serious expression?” McCoy asks knowing that his friend had a habit of becoming moody but this was a little extreme even for her. However she doesn't answer and McCoy feels his subconscious enveloped by hers, it takes him to the large open field with a gently warming breeze blowing and he can feel the tall meadow’s grass caressing his legs. He want’s to ask her why again, but instead chooses to admire the beauty that is her mind.  
“Take care of them Leo, and let it be known that I‘ll miss them dearly… and of course I will miss you to…” Iri trails off in a whispery voice as McCoy watches the sylph-like woman approached him, she kisses his forehead lightly. “May he who heals all, watch over you for the rest of your existence, and let it be known that I will be watching over you always.” Iri says in a prayer like voice, as she pulls out of his grasp and his eyes slowly fade back into reality. He notices that the lift is empty except for himself, and at that moment he knows what she plans to do. So with no regard for himself he rushes out of the lift and down to her room, however he hears an ear piercing cry. Rushing in he looks around for her desperately, but he knows he’s too late as he watches her lie on the ground in a crumpled heat. The smell of burning skin as well as the meadow in her mind can be smelled, and that is when he knows what she did. She allowed her powers to consume her in a desperate act to escape this world. A reality she showed him and he tried to stop.  
“Noooo!!” McCoy yells in anguish as he kneels by his friend in despair. “Iri please… please!”  
“She is gone Dr. McCoy.” A voice mutters in horror and that is when he notices Spock and Kirk’s appearance. “She jammed the door… we couldn’t stop her.”  
“Iri, but why?” Kirk whispers as he stares at her lifeless body.  
“Because she knew that she would never be able to love you like she wanted to.” Spock tells him as he falls to his knees with tears forming in his eyes. “She didn’t want to interfere with our love… Iri didn’t believe she could fit in… T’hai’la may you find love in the next realm.”  
“Spock we can’t let…”  
“T’hy’la she burned herself from the inside out, even if we did manage to bring a pulse back into her body… she would be nothing more than an empty shell.” Spock explains in despair as he looks up to see Jim leaning heavily against the wall as if in disbelief.  
‘Ashes to ashes and dust to dust a love born from flames, now consumed by the very flames it began with….’ They all hear whispered into their minds in Iri’s fun loving tone.

And that was the story of Commander Iridesscent Night Fox a commander beloved by many and destroyed by the very thing that created her. A Friend to many a lover to both Commander Spock and Captain Kirk, but destroyed by the doubt in her own mind.  
.


End file.
